Saturday, July 28, 2007

Absence and Accolades

So I haven’t been posting for a while. I’d like to say I’ve been off traveling the world or organizing a corporate take-over or something. But no, I’m just uninspired. I do my best work when I’m really pissed, or at least a little annoyed or excited or SOMETHING, but it just isn’t happening. If I were 7 years old, I’d be whining to my mother: “I’m booooored. There’s nothing to doooooo.” And then she would respond with: “I’ll find you something to do. Go wash the dishes.”

And that’s essentially what I’ve told myself. “You’re bored? Mow the yard. Do some laundry. Clean out the garage. Shave your legs.” I’ve been listening to myself too. When something interesting does finally come along, I’ll have all my chores done and will be ready to party.


So anyway, here’s a brief update on a few mildly interesting things that have happened recently.

- Jazz gave me a Schmooze award! I’m feeling a little guilty for getting a “blogging community involvement” award and then disappearing for a month. But I feel really special that somebody noticed I was gone. Thanks Jazz! P.S. No buttering up is required. We'd love to meet you.

- I know it’s boring to talk about the weather, but the weather is freaking me out. I haven’t seen anything like this in the almost 20 years that I’ve lived in Texas. I don’t think it’s been above 90 degrees once this year. And it’s raining every afternoon. Every single afternoon. The lawn isn’t requiring weekly transfusions of water in order to keep it barely alive until the heat breaks in October. If I didn’t know better, I would swear central Texas has been packed up and shipped off to Florida for the summer. There is water everywhere. People, this is WEIRD.

- My sister has a bun in the oven, due in December. Which means I’m pregnant with a baby quilt. I was all set to get started on it this week, but the little rascal was feeling shy and wouldn’t show his/her naughty bits during the ultrasound last week, so I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet. Which means my fabric selection is on hold. Which means the quilt is on hold. Fabric selection is the key to my creative process. On the plus side, this means Sis will be calling the papoose “Whodat” for another month, which totally cracks me up.

- I’ve discovered that I can shop for shoes on the internet. At work. When I should be, you know, working. The grownup part of me knows this is a bad thing, but the rest of me thinks it’s fabulous!

Monday, July 09, 2007


I turned my iPod on this morning, just as I was about to start some boring, mindless task at work. Tunes are the only way I can make through such things without my eyeballs melting.

This is what I saw on the iPod screen:

Hmmm, I said to myself. I've never seen such a thing before. What could it mean? It looks like a little frowny iPod. With X's where its eyes should be. If iPods had eyes.

Don't X's for eyes usually indicate death in the cartoon world? (Ominous music plays in the background.)

So I did a little googling. Turns out I was correct. X-eyes does mean death in the iPod world. This icon is the "sad iPod" icon. Sad because it means your iPod is nonfunctional. Deceased. Dead as a doornail. Apple’s website says they will cheerfully fix my iPod for $249 (plus shipping). Which is exactly what they’re selling the new Nanos for.

And so, I was not happy this morning at work. I had to do a tedious, mind-numbing task without tunes of any kind, plus I needed to fork over another few hundred bucks to the Apple-industrial complex if I ever wanted to hear my music again. My music was being held hostage. Bastards.

But all was not lost. I hadn’t given up completely yet. I kept on googling until I found this page:

How to Fix an iPod with the Sad iPod Icon

The article recommends banging the iPod, charging socket side down, on a hard surface to reset this little cable thingy that comes loose sometimes. What the heck. I had nothing to lose. I took my iPod out of its little protective case and gave it one good whack on the table.

I have to say that this particular repair strategy is very emotionally satisfying. Plus it worked. My iPod came back to life without so much as losing track of a single playlist. There were all my play counts, just as I had left them.

I still can’t believe it. One whack saved me $249 (plus shipping). I love the internet.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Advice from Auntie Jill

If you should ever get the bright idea to pick up the keyboard you have used daily for the last three years, turn it upside down and shake it out, just to see if there might be anything in there, don't shake it over your lap.

I am an idiot.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

A Redneck Joke

Somebody call Jeff Foxworthy. I’ve got a new one.

If you play your Wii while drinking beer and sitting in a lawn chair in your neighbor’s driveway with the Wii screen projected on the garage door, you might be a redneck.

It was the culmination of a successful pre-July 4th cookout. A good time was had by all. Slag was narrowly beaten, but he made a good show of it. The only casualties were a couple of beers that got knocked over during a heated bowling match.

I kept thinking what an odd sight it must have been to passersby: a crowd of people sitting in lawn chairs in a driveway, with the random person flinging his/her arm up in the air for no apparent reason.

Maybe you had to be there….