Saturday, July 04, 2009

Crackbook

I discovered this new thing recently. You may have heard of it. Facebook. Oh. My. Gawd. The thing is either a highly addictive drug or a time portal to another dimension. I log into it and the next thing I know it’s three hours later. I click on friends of friends of friends and before you know it, I’ve found the girl who lived down the street when I was a kid, who I haven’t seen since 1973.

I’ve got some questions though. Maybe someone out there can be of assistance. Firstly, I’m getting friend requests from people with whom I went to high school and college. <-- (Note the correct use of “whom” in a sentence. I’m feeling sooo clever today.) Some of the requestors I know (or knew) well enough to call friends. Other people, well, I can’t actually say that. Yeah, I hauled out the old annuals and, sure enough, there they are. But I didn’t actually know them then, you know, when we lived in the same town and went to the same school. Being my friend wasn’t a priority then. Why do they want to be my friends now that we live in different states? Is there some sort of competition that I’m not aware of? He who dies with the most friend connections on Facebook wins?

I got one friend request from a guy whose name I vaguely remember, but nothing else. He currently has over 1700 “friends.” Is it even possible to be friends with 1700 people? Has the word “friend” been redefined by Facebook to mean “someone I might have met once”? I’m confused. I’m not up on Facebook etiquette. I don’t want to be rude, but I have no desire to say I’m friends with a complete stranger. Maybe Miss Manners should write an article or something. It would really help.

Secondly, I want to know who all these old, chubby, wrinkled, bald, gray people are and why are they using the names of my classmates on Facebook? I’m shocked, just SHOCKED, at the way some of these people have let themselves go. Because obviously I still look 19, so it can’t be that hard to do a little moisturizing now and then. Ahem. Moving right along....

Thirdly, does everyone put as much effort into their profile picture as I did? Or, is anyone else willing to admit it? I swear I must have taken 30 or 40 pictures of myself. Almost all of them were rejected.

No, too blurry.
No, the lighting sucks and I don’t do Photoshop well enough to fix it.
No, my eyes look bugged out.
No, the jowls I inherited from my grandma are too obvious.
No, I look depressed.
No, you can sorta see the pile of laundry in the background.
No, my double chin is accented by that shadow.
No, my hair looks funny.

I finally settled on three candidates and asked for Slag’s advice. There was one that I thought looked the best, but Slag picked this one, saying it looked the most like me. That’s fine. I don’t want it to look like I’m trying too hard or anything. Heh.




P.S. Don't know if I'll ever get a picture of Slag's goatee posted. I casually mentioned it to him a couple of days ago and got "We'll talk about it." Definitely not promising.

9 Comments:

Blogger Jazz said...

Oh wow! A face, finally!

As for facebook, I'm on there but don't spend time on it really. Thankfully, people from high school or college have did not seek me out so far - which is great because if I wanted to be in contact with them, I'd have stayed in contact, ya know?

And for the record, he who dies with the most facebook connections is still dead.

Only thing I quite like about it is being able to email people directly without having to remember their emails...

6:23 PM  
Blogger Jazz said...

PS: will you be one of my 10 Facebook friends??? I'll spend all my time ignoring you most probably. Seeing as there are about 20,000 Jills in facebook, look me up if you need a crackbook fix: Lilian Fortin

6:29 PM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

Gee, I have to ask: what's that wire-cage thing over your shoulder in the photo?

KIDDING!

Your post has hit me at the right time, as it's been about 8 hours since I registered with Facebook. Then I told my hubby, and he exclaimed, "Don't do it: it's a time suck. You won't blog anymore!"

So I haven't actually put my profile together and such.

But your photo is LUVVERLY.

4:59 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Jazz, consider yourself Facebook friended!

Jocelyn, the wire cage thing is something Slag constructed to protect his tomato plants from pillaging by the resident squirrels, raccoons and birds. See the previous "Spring Planting" post for a complete picture. Good luck on Facebook. We may never see you again.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Hey there freckle face! Too cute!
And LOL at "pile of laundry" CLASSIC!

I only check into facebook to keep tabs on my kids... I wear my spy outfit before logging in!

7:37 AM  
Blogger kara said...

that's a good face. it's a "i don't care about facebook, it cares about ME" face. or something.

and feel free to "ignore" people. it's very freeing.

9:04 PM  
Blogger TinaRee said...

So, I was catching up on reading your blog and have to ask...am I one of those people? LOL. I did notice you haven't ignored me on FB. It's funny, I pulled out the annual too and some of these people aren't in there. Maybe they didn't actually graduate? Or maybe Kim C. hated them more than me, cuz she really screwed up that yearbook royally! I had to ask Karen who some of these people are(were). She remembers much better than I do...But I confess, I must be a facebook whore.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Catching up here...I too have disappeared into the Facebook vortex. Reconnected with a friend from grammar school that I hadn't seen since I was 10...and have friends who are friends of friends that I'm not really sure who they are...and of course some of the bloggers I read regularly. It's addictive as hell, I agree! Love your picture. The one I have on my FB page is actually from about 5 years ago and I really should put a current one up but have been too lazy to find one that I could stand!

8:42 AM  
Blogger Nae Ru said...

You r over analyzing the situation. You obviously like it cuz you can do it for hours at a time, so just go with it and stop over analyzing. Just do what makes you happy.

2:23 PM  

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