Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'm Baffled

I have seen something that I can’t explain. No, it’s not a ghost or a UFO or large, hairy man-beast that lives in the forest. It’s a true enigma.

Spied on the shelves of a discount store in small-town Mississippi last weekend:

It’s a pink, “Hello Kitty,” 6-cup coffee maker. A pink coffee maker. With a kitty on it. A kitty. ON the coffee maker.

And it's not even a kiddie-sized, "EZBake Oven"-style coffee maker that comes with little packets of instant coffee that you mix up in a miniature plastic cup and stick under a light bulb to heat. No, it's the real thing, a full-sized model suitable for a whole family (or one caffeine addict).

I can’t come up with a reasonable explanation for the existence of such a thing. Is it for the six-year-old who has everything? For that busy, on-the-go 4th grader who just can’t start the day without a cup of Joe? For the freaky cat-lady down the street with the pink kitchen? Who?

Somebody, please, explain this to me. Please.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Fun with Online Translators

My favorite retort, in all the languages of the world (that don't have funny alphabets). I am so sophisticated.

Bite me.
Bieben Sie mich.
Bijt me.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Wednesday Notes

A few tidbits from my brain....

1. Work has been a little nuts lately. This week we went through our semi-annual, "shake the box"-style reorganization. This reorganization has left my team with half the people we had last week, but with the same amount of work to do. It's not clear how this is going to work. The management team has been doing a lot of tap dancing and hand waving, but has failed to come up with anything even remotely logical. This leaves me to assume that we'll all be "Working Smarter, not Harder" again. Sigh. I HATE "Working Smarter." While I do like to think that my coworkers and I are reasonably smart people, I think there's a limit on how smart any given group of people can be. Especially given that we've already been "Working Smarter" since the last reorganization six months ago that stripped away about a third of team population and vital work was already starting to fall through the cracks. Personally, I'm past the point of worrying and now I just spin in my chair and giggle a lot. And even when we're not spinning and giggling, the whole team (or what's left of it) is doing a whole lot of goofing off. For example, right now I am posting when I should be working.

Unfortunately, it seems that we're all smart enough to know that:

(Infinite amount of work) - (Anything we might accomplish today) = (Infinite amount of work)

Damn those algebra classes. Sometimes being smart actually reduces productivity. Go figure.

2. Sadly, it appears that I'll need to reexamine my retirement strategy. The tip jar is not as lucrative as I had hoped it would be. The total to date has stalled at $1 and 5 pence. I don't know how much a pence is, but I don't think 5 of them are enough to buy me a condo at the Shady Rest Retirement Community.

3. It's the first week of September, so you know what that means. That's right! It's the start of the Christmas shopping season! While shopping for my tip jar last week, I noticed that Santa's minions were busy busy busy stocking the store shelves with all manner of Yuletide decorational-type accessories, including, but not limited to, fake trees, tinsel, lights, assorted tree baubles, and a 9-foot inflatable Santa in desert combat fatigues holding a big sign that said "Support Our Troops." I don't have the mental capacity to go off on this right now, so I'll save it for later. Right now I have to get back to some very important chair-spinning.