Thursday, February 05, 2009

A Little Something

Slag bought me a present last week. Right out of the blue. There was no special occasion or anything. Just a little something, because he was thinking of me.

How cool is that? Every girl likes to be surprised with gifts from her man every now and then. It’s especially romantic when he presents the gift and then makes a sudden retreat to the other side of the room, where he cowers defensively with a pleading look in his eyes that silently begs “Please don’t hurt me or any of my stuff.”

He got me one of these:


What might be the appropriate response from moi, given that I need to keep my man respectful, but I also want to at least give the appearance of being sane?

On the one hand, this is really, really close to responding “yes” to the famous question: “Honey, do these pants make me look fat?” Which would naturally result in a nuclear-holocaust-type situation. For him.

On the other hand, the man is clearly desperate. He’s so frantic to escape my raspy, middle-aged, half-assed-runner’s calluses that he’s willing to risk my woman-wrath. I have been shoving my cold, callused feet up against the delicate skin behind his knees a lot recently…..OK, truthfully, I’m not that picky and I’ll stick my cold, callused feet any place that’s warm. Slag has lots of attractive warm spots. So I can see where he might be justified in suggesting a different grooming strategy for my feet.

What to do, what to do….

I’m shooting for sane this week, so I’ve decided to forgive him. The egg thing actually works pretty well. Plus he’s really adorable when he cowers.


Blogger lime said...

well, not knowing either you or him since this is my first visit i'll venture that perhaps he thought it was something to pamper you? dunno.

thanks for stopping by my place and saying hello :)

8:15 PM  
Blogger Jazz said...

The egg works? Damn, I have to find one of those.

It's getting to the point that if I have an itch my heel can reach, I use it to scratch. Unfortunately, I'm no Cirque du soleil contortionist type so it's not like I can get myself into any spectacular poses...

8:26 AM  
Blogger Cheesy said...

Oh I love my egg...I think it was a sweet gift! Does he rub lotion into your newly smooth feet?

8:50 AM  
Blogger Kara said...

but why is it an egg? what does an egg have to do with smoothing foot skin? i'm confused by the design...ddo they have a customer service number?

12:45 PM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

He could have wrapped it in 43 truffles, though, and it would have somehow seemed nicer.

I have dumb runner's callouses, too. But they are nothing compared to my husband's...

11:34 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home