Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Witness

I was accosted in my driveway by a Jehovah’s Witness yesterday. She was walking up the driveway when I arrived home and pulled in. I gave her every chance to notice how busy I was in my car and leave, while I pretended to be busy with stuff in my car. But no, she waited for me. So I finally resigned myself to my fate and got out. Sigh.

She had come to spread the word about how evolution is completely impossible and all these “leading scientists” were coming out against it. Apparently, “evolutionists” are destroying our children’s belief in god by misleading them with lies presented as “science.” She had a hard time remembering how to pronounce all the scientific words that she was trying to use to convince me, but that didn’t slow her down. I think she talked for five minutes straight without stopping to breathe. I was afraid she was going to faint right there on my driveway and then sue me, but no, she had had plenty of practice. She simultaneously flipped through this slick pamphlet and showed me pictures that were supposed to support her various points. That presentation strategy didn’t give me much of a chance to interrupt and tell her how busy busy busy I was. I think that might have been the plan. Too bad my mother was so strict about not interrupting, or I might have escaped.

Then she wanted to know what I thought the evolution crisis that is currently threatening our way of life. I told her a little about how evolution is pretty much established fact, how it’s the reason you need a flu shot every year and not just once, and it’s why there are now “super-bugs” that are resistant to all the antibiotics we have. I ended with a blurb about how I don’t understand why people think evolution is incompatible believing in god and really, aren’t there better things to do with our time? She nodded and appeared attentive while I talked, but I don’t think she actually heard anything, because her subsequent responses had nothing to do with what I said. There didn’t appear to be a whole lot of synaptic activity going on in her head.

She did leave me with some fascinating scientific literature though. In its 20 short little pages, the pamphlet successfully refutes the current state of scientific knowledge concerning geology, archeology, anthropology and a couple of other ologies that I’m probably leaving out. Quite a feat, don’t you think? It repeatedly cites this book called “Icons of Evolution: Science or Myth? Why Much of What We Teach About Evolution is Wrong.” I’ve never heard of this book, but I’m betting it was written by another “leading scientist” and also refutes a lot things that “evolutionists” think they know.

Too bad I wasn’t two minutes later coming home. That would have allowed her to actually ring the doorbell and meet with DC instead of me. Talking to god peddlers is just the highlight of DC’s day. He briefly listens to their sales pitch and then tells them how wonderful Zeus is. Sometimes he can make them laugh. If there’s more than one, he can usually get the subordinate to laugh. Then the subordinate gets a glare from the one in charge. Hilarity ensues.

6 Comments:

Blogger Stucco said...

Jeez Jill! You had a golden opportunity to bring this misguided soul to true enlightenment in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Also, what's the "DC"? Some secret code for Slaghammer? "Roger Dodger! The DC Flies at dawn!"

8:52 PM  
Blogger ian said...

Oh, yes, the inimitable Spaghetti Monster!

Have you been Touched by His Noodly Appendage?

Ian

10:55 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

stucco, DC = Slaghammer. Same person. I started using the "DC" alias before Slag developed his own net persona. I suppose I should go back and change all my DC references to avoid confusion. Wouldn't want anyone to think I have another guy on the side.

ian, no I have not been touched! In fact, I've never heard of his Holy Noodleness until just now. Will remedy that as soon as possible.

11:50 AM  
Blogger CrimsonKing said...

Talk about brainwashed!! I can't wait until I have a house so I can mess with those people.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Karmyn R said...

I am always shocked to meet people like that....I am in my little cozy science world and when the doorbell rings I think its the UPS guy and I get all excited - Then, I open it up and there in my door is standing some religious person, I always get that "splash of cold-water" on my face.

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Rachel said...

I am frequently one of the God peddlers he entraps in his little conversations... you should be glad that he didn't answer the door ... she'd still be at your house!!

11:56 PM  

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