Wine and Refinement

Would it be wrong to have wine for dinner? I very nearly did last night. My blood sugar had plummeted, and I had poured and swilled a big glass before Slag picked me up off the couch and whisked me out to meet L for Mexican food. I discovered that Mexican food is even better with a glass of cheap, red wine as an appetizer.

I’m usually not much of a wine drinker, but I love the stuff I was drinking last night. I scored a bottle of it while we were in Indiana last weekend. It’s produced by a winery there and so is impossible to get in Texas. I wrapped the bottle in about fifteen yards of bubble wrap, stuck it in my suitcase, and hoped for the best. Thankfully, it arrived intact.

This wine is named “Soft Red Wine,” which didn’t seem strange until I thought about it for a second. Most wine is named after the grape it’s made from, right? Like Merlot? Pinot Noir? OK, I guess Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill is an exception, but it at least has “strawberry” in the name. So, I looked more closely at the label and, in very small print on the back, it says that this wine is made from Concorde grapes.

Concorde grapes?

And then I burst out laughing. It’s Welch’s Grape Juice on steroids! Give a case or two to someone’s granny and she could make a batch of grape jelly out of it. Well, that explains everything, doesn’t it? Don’t let anyone tell you that I don’t have a refined palate. Because I don’t.

Next time we’re in a fancy restaurant, I’m planning on ordering a glass of their “finest Concorde,” just to see the response I get. The tip will be double for any waitperson who can tactfully explain my mistake without rolling his/her eyes out of their sockets.

P.S. Turns out, “Soft Red Wine” is the winery’s best-selling wine, so I guess my tastes are a little more mainstream than I thought.