The Record
For the past week, I’ve been suffering from an allergy attack of catastrophic proportions. The oak trees are copulating and the mold spores are traveling and they're all kicking my ass.
I don’t know how much snot one human body is capable of producing in a 24-hour period, but I’m pretty sure that I’m getting close to the record. Somebody call the Guinness Book of World Records people. I could be famous.
Yeah, I know I’m being gross. I don’t care. I feel like crap. Snot snot snot.
I finally gave in and saw my doctor yesterday. She prescribed an arsenal of antihistamines and decongestants. Today I can breath through my nose a little, and I sound a little less like Barry White. It’s progress.
I don’t know how much snot one human body is capable of producing in a 24-hour period, but I’m pretty sure that I’m getting close to the record. Somebody call the Guinness Book of World Records people. I could be famous.
Yeah, I know I’m being gross. I don’t care. I feel like crap. Snot snot snot.
I finally gave in and saw my doctor yesterday. She prescribed an arsenal of antihistamines and decongestants. Today I can breath through my nose a little, and I sound a little less like Barry White. It’s progress.
posted by Jill at 10:21 AM
12 Comments:
Whenever I get sick my voice cracks a lot. "You want fries with that?"
Gesundheit there Jilly!
So sorry Barry is trying to channel thru you... get better quickly!
You've got some very frisky oak trees there, Jill! I hope they are...satisfied....soon, so that you can reduce your manufacturing of snot!
Here's hoping you feel better soon!
Hmm. Maybe you ought to get a mason jar and find out just how much snot you produce.
I can't believe I just thought of that.
Ian
Ugh. I really wish I hadn't read Ian's comment. Bad mental image and all that.
Heh heh heh, read the snot post. My mom's pet peeve was us saying,"Oh my God," which was weird, because it's not like we were church-going types or anything like that. The only word I freak out over is "stupid." As in, "You're stupid and I hate you and you're the worst mom ever." I don't know why, I just have a real problem with that.
Hope you're feeling better soon!
Well at least your oak trees are copulating... ours won't be anywhere near that stage until mid May. We're still getting freaking snowed on here. $#*?&*#
But can you sing like Barry White...that's the important question.
snot snot snot snot snot . . .
booger
Birds do it
Bees do it
Even educated trees do it.
Sorry you're poorly.
crimsonking, I think I prefer the Barry White sound to the voice cracking bit. At least Barry gets some respect.
stucco, Thanks!
cheesy, Thanks, I'm feeling a lot better.
em, Ugh, me too! They should be done soon. In the meantime, my car is green from all the pollen.
schmoopie, Thanks, things are much improved. I hope to be at full strength for the weekend.
ian, You are officially grosser than I am. Ew.
whippersnapper, I'm with you. Mason jars will never be the same for me.
jazz, You still have snow? What, is summer like two weeks long in Canada?
kara, I can only sing like Barry in my mind. Slag is the only person ever subjected to my warbling and he's never mentioned that I sound like Barry in real life. So mostly I try to sing alone.
evil spock, OK that's funny, but I don't know why. Booger booger.
sam, Heeeey, that's not how the song goes....is it?
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