Successful Thanking
I’ve completed yet another Thanksgiving holiday and made it successfully through all the seven stages of giving thanks. The stages are:
1. Woohoo! A week away from the office to do whatever I want! (This is the shortest stage. It lasts, at most, 3 hours.)
2. Frenzied Preparation: Realizing that I don’t get to do whatever I want for the whole week. Shoving a little old lady at the grocery store for that last can of jellied cranberry sauce. Watching Slag cook. Cleaning the house so friends and relatives will not see that we are slovenly. Printing out maps for any required traveling.
3. Watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
4. Gluttony
5. Self-loathing and more pie
6. Feeble attempts at exercise and resolving not to eat like a pig throughout the rest of the holiday season, followed by more pie
7. Lethargy
Last night, just when I thought I was going to miss the final stage, lethargy arrived. Slag and I both nodded off on the couch about 8:15pm, right in the middle of a TiVo’d episode of The Daily Show. I steadfastly remained on the couch, determined to make it until closer to 9pm before giving up and going to bed. It feels wrong to go to bed before 9pm if you’re older than 5 and younger than 80.
I just dozed on and off, but Slag went sound asleep. That was risky for him, because it meant I had a perfectly legitimate reason to wake him up. I usually wake him by sticking my fingers in his ears, tickling his nose, pulling the covers off him, or prying open one of his eyes with my thumb and forefinger. If I’m feeling really patient, I stick my face about half an inch from his face and stare until he wakes up. Don’t ask me how it works, but it does. Really.
I didn’t have the energy to be annoying last night, so I just jostled him awake and we dragged ourselves upstairs. We were both out cold by 9:15pm. I think we’ve had all the thanking we can handle until next year.
1. Woohoo! A week away from the office to do whatever I want! (This is the shortest stage. It lasts, at most, 3 hours.)
2. Frenzied Preparation: Realizing that I don’t get to do whatever I want for the whole week. Shoving a little old lady at the grocery store for that last can of jellied cranberry sauce. Watching Slag cook. Cleaning the house so friends and relatives will not see that we are slovenly. Printing out maps for any required traveling.
3. Watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
4. Gluttony
5. Self-loathing and more pie
6. Feeble attempts at exercise and resolving not to eat like a pig throughout the rest of the holiday season, followed by more pie
7. Lethargy
Last night, just when I thought I was going to miss the final stage, lethargy arrived. Slag and I both nodded off on the couch about 8:15pm, right in the middle of a TiVo’d episode of The Daily Show. I steadfastly remained on the couch, determined to make it until closer to 9pm before giving up and going to bed. It feels wrong to go to bed before 9pm if you’re older than 5 and younger than 80.
I just dozed on and off, but Slag went sound asleep. That was risky for him, because it meant I had a perfectly legitimate reason to wake him up. I usually wake him by sticking my fingers in his ears, tickling his nose, pulling the covers off him, or prying open one of his eyes with my thumb and forefinger. If I’m feeling really patient, I stick my face about half an inch from his face and stare until he wakes up. Don’t ask me how it works, but it does. Really.
I didn’t have the energy to be annoying last night, so I just jostled him awake and we dragged ourselves upstairs. We were both out cold by 9:15pm. I think we’ve had all the thanking we can handle until next year.
posted by Jill at 4:52 PM
4 Comments:
That face-to-face wakeup tactic is interesting and indeed effective. There was once a Bloom County comic that featured a first panel showing Opus upside down and REALLY close with a blank stare. I always think of that cell when thinking of this practice. I don't know why.
In other news, as has been said with thrusting fists in the air (on MXC) - "I like pie"
Pie and lethargy... doesn't get much better than that!
LOL! You're hilarious! My 6 year old son wakes me up that way on a regular basis. It's kind of disturbing and annoying.
stucco, You're right! I *love* MXC, even more after a couple of margaritas. The log roll is the best. We even TiVo it around here. I've always been a little embarrassed about that, but since we're sharing.....
jazz, Yep, it was fabulous. Too bad we ran out of pie before we ran out of lethargy.
anne, So my techniques are similar to those of a six year old? That explains a lot. :)
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